Is it possible to balance your work life and parenting?

By Pamellah Mutenga |


For srarters, I salute parents who try their best to meet this very objective. Many parents are searching for the “perfect” balance between family life and work. We all know too well that raising a family while providing for one requires a considerable amount of dedication, time and effort. There is the hustle and bustle that comes with getting the family up and out the front door in the mornings,  On route, you try to dodge the traffic on the school runs, you dash to the office, then there is the boss off-loading more work, more deadlines, and there are meetings. You get home to be faced with cooking dinner, chores, homework, the kids bath times and trying to spend some quality time with the family at the end of the day and a little downtime for yourself (if you are lucky), it’s no wonder that many of us soon start to feel deflated, overwhelmed and exhausted. We are often left with feelings of guilt or inadequacies for not being able to spend as much time as we would like with family, completing tasks to the best of our abilities on the job and at home due to tiredness and fatigue. Sound familiar?

On many mornings, my daughters often approach me and ask if I am going to work, when my response is ‘Yes', one of my daughters usually makes no bones about telling me that I am spending too much time at work and openly expresses her disappointment. This is one of the reasons parents desire to strike a balance between work and family life. As for my family, it is a challenge and I believe for many no doubt.

In these modern times, we are witnessing a world that is ever evolving. There is mounting pressure coming at us from all angles both as individuals and parents. We are almost being pushed beyond the limit where we will need to do even more and be more. In other words, we would need to morph into some sort of modern-day superhuman. The more we struggle to live up to the expectations of the external world and the pressures that stem from trying to strike that balance between being effective in the workplace; nurturing our relationships with our partners or spouse’s and being the best parents we can be for the sake of our children, the more we need to unplug and take a reality check every so often. This will afford us an opportunity to assess and evaluate our current status in terms of striking that balance compared to where we want to be. There is no ‘one size fits all’ solution. Ultimately, we just need to figure out what is best for our families and follow a strategy that will help us best to do so. 

I was born and raised in Uganda and have now been living in the UK for the years, i have constantly been comparing notes. On reflection, I have observed that there is a distinct difference between the two family systems. Family life in Uganda is much more relaxed and laid back as most families have help to do chores in the home and extended family members play an active part in raising the children, therefore all responsibilities are not left exclusively to the parents.

 Most parents in the UK have the sole responsibility for raising their families (nuclear), while also doing their best to provide for them, maintain their homes and try to have a social life and it is most definitely a juggling act. They are constantly on the move, quite often feeling that they are neglectful of their children, as they are unable to spend as much quality time with them as they’d like, which can be quite soul destroying.

Here are my tips for juggling your work life and parenting.

Firstly, take a look at all the things that you have accomplished, been proud of and have done well and applaud yourself,  in areas of your life that you feel you have struggled with or in need improvement, refrain from beating yourself up about them. Up until now, you have tried your best to keep a balance, you did not give up, you kept going, that in itself deserves to be commended.

• Stay connected to your children throughout the day. You can leave notes on your fridge as a reminder to your children that you love them.

• Be sure to allocate family time each week to do the things you enjoy doing as a family, such as going to the park, praying together, visiting valued friends and extended family members, or having a fun movie night in at home.

• Each week plan a date night (or day) with your spouse (or partner if you have one). This will help to keep you both connected and less likely to become neglectful of one another. Take it in turns to come up with ideas when planning your next date. It is also healthy for your children to witness you taking a vested interest in nurturing your happy and healthy union. Remember, you are (should be) the most positive influences in your children’s life. Children are generally happier and more grounded when they feel a sense of safety and security around them.

• You are important, your family depends on you. Be sure to have at least 8 hours sleep a night, exercise, drink plenty of water, eat a balanced diet and take time out to do the things you love.

• Don’t be afraid to approach your boss and ask for flexible working hours, if you are really struggling to balance things.

Work-life balance does exist. It does require sacrifice and you need to work at it to find what works for you. Make your happiness and wellbeing a priority.

Hi, I am Pamellah Mutenga,  a blogger, writer, financial literacy Educator, speaker and executive coach focused on working parent who live a purpose driven life & ethnic leadership development, closing the ethnic achievement gap and breaking glass ceilings. I am  the Co-Founder and director of Abundant Life Family Care. I believe that parenthood and life in it'self is a journey which must be enjoyed but it starts with happy parents. 

8 Kommentare

  • Pamellah

    Thanks Rochelle. Indeed being present in our children’s lives now is important for their wellbeing now and in their later life.

  • Ramya

    Very good tips and reality of UK families.
    Same in India as well – we have extended help and support for parents and kids.

  • Zoe Gabriella

    In reality though, getting the balance right is tricky. Truth is we work longer hours in this country than anyone else in Europe, so chances are when Britain’s parents finally arrive home they may not have the energy for a game of football in the park, or six rounds battling with the maths homework waiting on the kitchen table. Making changes at work by talking your hours through with your boss is a good step, but even if you can’t make big changes, or don’t want to, some small steps – the tiniest changes to routine – can make the biggest difference, to your children and to you. Also, if we are playing or having fun with the children that we need to be present and focus on them instead of worrying about other things. 💯

  • chelsy

    lower your expectations. A lot of the pressure that parents have to cook healthy and delicious meals daily, maintain a perfectly clean house, and be the perfect parent are expectations that you put on yourself. No one else demands as much as you demand of yourself.

    When you lower your expectations, you will find a lot of the unnecessary stress can be eliminated.

    Your house does NOT need to be spotless every time a guest comes over, especially if the guest also has children.

    Buying cookies instead of baking them yourself does NOT make you a bad parent. Home cooked meals everyday is a great goal to strive towards, but leftovers and take out will also feed your family just fine.

  • madeline

    Negotiate flex hours or part-time hours if possible.
    Flexibility in your work life can bring an incredible stress release to a household. If it’s financially feasible, consider the option of part-time work. It may mean less financial freedom, but it may bring greater daily rewards and quality of life. Again, you need to consider your values and set your priorities. If possible, negotiate with your employer for flex hours or job-sharing that would be more conducive to your family life.

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